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Are You Sexually Intelligent?

For all my sapiosexuals out there…


I was scrolling through my blogging feed when I came across an article about what socially intelligent people do and how they act and behave. I started to think about what sexually intelligent people do and how people get to attain their sexual prowess and become extremely sexually successful.

Now, I don’t define success by how many people you can get to have sex with you; I define success by how well you pay attention to your lovers and if they would let you back in their bed again because of how well you connected with them. You see, sexually intelligent people acknowledge absolutely everything on the body and understand that magic is everywhere. These are the folks who love to see the human body in the light and acknowledge all of the body’s strengths and


Photo by Martin Adams on Unsplash . support the body’s differences. Most sexually intelligent people are going to listen more than they speak (provided they are able-bodied). When you listen, not only can you listen to the body, you can listen to the person’s breathing, what they are saying or not saying, and you’re able to spot any changes in their bodies. And you don’t necessarily have to have all the senses to do these things. When I was presenting a kink workshop at Creating Change, there were a group of Deaf folks who told me that listening to the body was about the touches and the vibrations that person gives you. So when I went to go spank one Deaf person, they almost melted in my arms and said that they loved the vibrations of my sensual touching and spanking. Another Deaf person said that when I choked them, they loved how I placed my body on them so they could feel the movement of my breath. For me, the listening didn’t come from them speaking, so I had to listen to what their body wanted and accommodated them accordingly. Being sexually intelligent is about you being fully present to enhance and maximize your lover’s pleasure zones. In addition to these things, sexually intelligent people are problem-solvers and are always thinking about their access to resources when it comes to solving sexual problems. They are not just about waiting until the last minute until something is wrong; they tend to take problems by the horn and share that knowledge with the folks around them. For instance, if you’re a squirter and you don’t want a wet bed? Your sexually intelligent person is going to find that squirt blanket. Is that Erectile Dysfunction getting you down? They might have that penis pill in their cabinet for you to take (or know someone who does!). Sexually intelligent people take every opportunity as a learning opportunity and don’t shy away from things that scare them. They walk through the fear, turn it into curiosity, and then become smarter because of the lesson they’ve learned in that interaction. We all know that when we know better, we do better, and when this occurs, we can keep doing them better. 😊 In addition to listening, problem-solving, learning, and implementing, sexually intelligent people are the people that love giving for the sake of giving. We all know that we should be kind and do nice things for people, but there’s something always sexy about folks who are givers who don’t expect anything in return. If you and your lover(s) are givers, I have one simple rule: the person who usually cums the fastest is the one that has the last orgasm. Not only does this help to close the orgasm gaps with partnerships, it always helps them help you to get the pleasure you desire. So now what you know what sexually intelligent people do, it’s up to you to up your game when it comes to your sexual intelligence IQ. Not only will it make you a better lover, it will almost always get you more fun and pleasurable sexual experiences! Cheers to your sexual success!


Originally published at http://velvetlipsllc.com.

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