"All you gotta do is say yes." - Floetry
[pic is black wall painted with a white yes]
When folks in relationships come into conflict, most of the time it’s because someone is not doing what the other person needs, whether it’s intentional or not. When you’re in a partnership, it shouldn’t be too difficult to give what your person needs, unless you feel it’s immoral or unethical. But doing simple things in your relationship, should be relatively easy for you. Remember, love is an action, so the lack of action can indicate that your love is waning.
If you’re having trouble giving your lover the things they need, here’s a list of questions that you should ask yourself:
1) Is the request that my lover is making immoral, unethical, or illegal?
If the request is immoral, unethical, or illegal, make sure that you explain to them why you feel that you can’t follow through with their request. If they don’t respect your decision, by trying to persuade you otherwise, you may want to start evaluating why you are in the relationship.
2) Do I have all the facts needed to make the decision about the request?
Many times, we lack the information to make an informed decision, and if you’re having trouble communicating, then you might not be asking the questions needed to ensure that you are making that decision. Clarifying questions to help you make the best decision is necessary in order for you to feel good and comfortable about what you are going to do next.
3) Will the request benefit my relationship?
If the request will benefit your relationship, then this should be a no-brainer. If it’s a positive influence on your relationship and on you and your lover, there’s no need to hesitate. Making the best decision for your relationship is one of the greatest things you can do to further your connection and develop faith in your partnership.
What people really need is consistency when it comes to developing trust in their relationship, especially if there has been trauma or harm done. If your partner needs you to speak sweet to them, do it. If your partner needs you to communicate your needs, do it. If your partner needs you to clean up after yourself, do it.
Providing what your partner needs shows that you care and shows that you respect their request. Now, if you feel that the request is too much, explain why. If you are unable to do that request, explain why. If you just have a difference in opinion, you can have a conversation about it, but does your opinion really matter in this situation? Would it affect you as much as it would affect your lover?
As Dr. Laura would say, “would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?” The reality is that sometimes we cannot have both, so choose wisely. If your lover is a person who likes to argue and you don’t, choosing to be right is going to be a hard decision to live with.
We only have one life to live and I know that I’d rather be happy. Your lover would appreciate that, as well.
Cheers to your sexual success!