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13 Ways to Increase Intimacy for Busy People in the Same House

“No matter how busy you are, you must take time to make the other person feel important.” — Mary Kay Ash



Photo by Carl Heyerdahl on Unsplash As a person who works from home with most of my work endeavors and with my wife who has some big military commitments which require her to be on her computer for an extended period of time, we often have to find the time to stay connected with each other. Despite being in the same house, most of the time I’m in my office and she’s in hers when we have really important stuff that needs to be concentrated on. If there is something that we are working on that is a little bit more casual, then, we tend to try to stay in the living room and work on our computers together in the same room. You see, we love each other’s company, but we got stuff to do! However, what I love about our relationship is the fact that “no” isn’t really in our vocabulary when it comes to intimacy and requests for intimacy. Even when we’re extremely busy doing something else, we usually inform each other to “give me a minute” so that we know that we are not being forgotten about, but that we have to prioritize our personal needs first. I encourage you to do the same in your relationships; rather than saying “no,” you can say “one second,” “give me a minute,” or “okay, after I do this.” And then commit to that. Commit to the intimacy that your lover wants and desires. With the increase of folks who are working from home because of technological advances and now with the new COVID-19 that has people preparing to protect themselves, there are times that you and your lover are in the house together being busy and doing career or domestic work, researching the latest thing on the internet, watching television, managing the kids, or scanning your social media on your phone. The fact is, we’re all busy doing something, so it’s extremely important that you make the effort to continuously stay connected to your lover. Here are 13 ways to keep connected with your lover(s): 1. Kissing while passing Whenever you pass your lover, it’s good practice to kiss them. Once you start to do this, this will form a habit and soon enough, you probably won’t be able to pass your lover without kissing them. Think of trigger words or sounds that will get your lover to understand what you want from them. 2. Grab them by the booty Assuming consensual non-consent has already been given, grabbing them by the booty and giving it a nice squeeze is generally welcome (especially as compared to grabbing them by the genitals, which is generally seen as more crass and creepy). A grab-by or a booty-grabbing hug tend to be fun ways to stay connected. 3. Request a 20-second hug For those of us who love affection, hugs are really great to get some of those hormones firing and feeling connected. Getting that 20-second hug each day helps you stay connected with your lover by producing oxytocin, and if you’re monogamous, it helps to strengthen your monogamous connection. 4. Rub their chest/Grab a titty If you see your lover and they are concentrating hard on something, you may want to rub on their chest area. No need to pull and tug; just a gentle touch or grab can let you know that you’re thinking of them and if you’re the one getting grabbed, you may even chuckle, smile, or get turned on! 5. Give a 30-second head rub Sometimes you need to stop for a moment and give a great head rub. As a bald person, it’s real easy for other people to give me head rubs because people’s hands seem to be naturally-inclined to go towards bald heads, but you can also caress someone who has hair along their hairline or up the back of the head above the neck. 6. Request a 5-minute cuddle party I know I get in moods to just want to cuddle for just a few moments. Maybe it’s just snuggling up and watching a video on social media or taking a small break and leaning your head or leaning someone else’s head on your shoulder. 7. Request a 3-minute dance Putting on “your” song (a song that you and your lover really love and really like to dance to) is a great way of being aware and connected. I tell some of my clients to pick a song, play it, and then their partner has no choice but to stop what they’re doing and dance with you. It usually brings you instant joy! 8. Give a 5-minute massage Whether it’s the shoulders, the hands, the arms, the booty, or the feet, taking the time to give your lover a massage is a perfect way to show that you care. Especially if you see that they are doing hard and stressful work, taking the time to de-stress them with a moderate massage can help to release some of that stress so they can continue to do what they need to do. 9. Give a 1-minute neck rub Similar to the massage, giving a simple and short neck rub can help relieve tension that they may be carrying. It can help people instantly relax, all while feeling connected with you. 10. Sing a song with their name in it Having fun and singing a silly song with their name in it is a great way to bring some joy in your life and theirs. People love to hear their name and most people love music, so combining them both is a quick way to have them pleased! Even if your voice isn’t the best voice, it’s the effort that counts and it can bring a little chuckle into your life. 11. Take a walk and hold hands Whenever you need a break, it’s always nice to get up and go for a walk. If you have a dog or pet that you can walk, that’s even better because it’ll help you feel accomplished about taking care of your dog. On the walk, you can hold hands and check in about your day or contemplate life happenings. Having these conversations while being physical, is a way to foster your intimate connection. 12. Send a loving text/voice message Sending a message is a fantastic way to show your lover that you care. However, if you’re like me and not attached to your phone, it might be helpful to use another means of communicating a loving message. My wife and I have walkie-talkies when we’re in super work mode in our offices or when the walkies haven’t been charge, we send messages to each other via our Google assistants (such an amazing feature!). It’s always a fun (and slightly weird) surprise when you hear their voice coming from the speaker! 13. Plant a sex seed As always, I would love for you to plant a sex seed to influence your lover and seduce them with tact. For your lover to feel connected to you, drop off a “gift” to them that can be used later when you get into the bedroom. No need to hand it to them. Set it down next to them, don’t say anything, and just walk away. They should know exactly what it means. I hope that you take these suggestions to heart because these are the things that will always help you stay connected to your lover(s). Keeping in touch with the amount of intimacy you’re giving is necessary for a fantastic relationship to flourish. Cheers to your sexual success!


Be sure to check out the chapter on Eroticizing Daily Interactions in our book, The Ultimate Guide to Foreplay & Seduction. Original post found here

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