It’s good to be aware of the difference.
Sexual liberation comes in all forms, but there’s one thing that we can’t deny — the fantasies that we have in our head don’t always translate well IRL (“in real life” for my non-social media/texty folks). Sometimes we think of the most amazing, fun, and sexy things and we think that it’s going to go really great, only to execute something that’s barely mediocre. I know I’m not the only one who has tried to get a good sex date going, only to receive rejection or a complete failure.
Of course, I’m the type of person that will always give it another go, but that first one can be a real heartbreaker. Sometimes, I imagine saying the most exciting dirty talk in my fantasy to my partner, only to be forgetful or reluctant in the actual moment. When I’ve finally realized that I missed my opportunity to be great, that moment of disappointment sets in and I often walk away from the situation like “I could’ve done better. Where was my head at?”
Sometimes, my head is being present in the moment, so the moment quickly comes and goes and then I’m left feeling unsatisfied about the fantasy that I had in mind.
Then, sometimes, our bodies change or our attitude changes about something and you might find yourself thinking, “I thought this [sexual activity] would be fun, but I don’t think I really want that for real, for real (FRFR).” For instance, a long time ago, I had the fantasy of lining up a bunch of women for my birthday and I would eat their pussy, one at a time, until they had an orgasm, and then I would call out “next!” for the next person to arrive in my bed.
Back then, I thought, yeah, that would be cool! Now, as I’ve gotten older, I’m like “I don’t know where these people’s genitals have been and I’m not interested in doing investigative work.”
So now, it stays as a fantasy, that will always remain a fantasy. I have no motivation whatsoever to make it into a reality, but it doesn’t have to be like that with all fantasies. A friend of mine has an amazing gift of creativity and has these amazing sexual fantasies that she likes to make into realities. It’s incredible what she comes up with and how she manifests it in an instant!
This just goes to show you that it doesn’t matter if you have a fantasy that can be realized or not, be good to yourself and know that it’s okay to have a fantasy be real or transition to the depths of your brain. Also, that there’s always time to realize your fantasies with a lover, if they are open to it. Yes, you might have a mediocre moment, but being committed to making it better is the best thing that you can do for yourself.
Cheers to your sexual success!