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Why My Velvet Lips Are Personal & Political

And yes, it’s a double entendre…


Photo of me by CapturedbyTabia

It all started when I was in the second grade. My mom was teaching me sex education because she didn’t want me to become a teenage mother like herself and go through what she went through. I never thought anything of it, especially because she talked about it every year.

When I started my period at 13, the pressure was turning up and she often said, “If you need to go to the doctor about anything, I will take you; no questions asked.” Although it was comforting, I knew it wasn’t true. My mom is nosy enough, but I was just happy that she wasn’t overbearing. Then I turned 16. With my first boyfriend in tow, again, she gave me a life lesson that I will never forget: “When you’re old enough to go buy condoms yourself, then you are old enough to have sex.” After 5 months of being together, I felt that I was ready, so I went over to the local grocery store and bought some condoms. And although I had fun when I had sex, it was just that. Just fun. It was fun faking an orgasm. You know what kind of orgasm I’m talking about — the ones you see/hear from the better (read “paid”) porn collection. For him, it was great and for me, it was fun faking it (I wanted to be an actress at the time). Flash forward to college. More and more I started to get involved with the sexuality courses at my school and for some reason, my persona emanated sex, so naturally everyone (friends and strangers) would talk to me about their sex lives and I would ask them tons of questions regarding their sex lives. Everyone was so willing to answer, so naturally I believed that this was my calling. I wasn’t getting famous from my acting skills anytime soon, so I started changing directions. One day, Dr. Ruth came into our Variations in Human Sexuality class. That’s the moment where I knew that that is what I wanted to do. I figured that I could do the things that she’s doing, but I can make it sexier. I wanted to project free sexuality like Josephine Baker with the intelligence of a famous Black Sex Therapist. I wanted to draw people in like moths. That, and when I asked my friends if they were having orgasms, they looked at me as if “orgasm” was a foreign word. From then on, I decided that I wanted to empower women to have more orgasms and to be free with their sexual wants, needs and desires. If women aren’t happy, the world isn’t happy and I’m on a mission to make the world a better place. My mom (the best mom in the world) said something that resonates with me every day. She said, “If you want something bad enough, you make the time for it.” And it’s true. When I’m up at 3 o’clock in the morning working on Velvet Lips stuff, it’s because I’m determined to get something finished. I wish I had the same motivation for working out as I do for my company, but that’s a subject for another day. My Velvet Lips are personal and political in every way, but don’t let the feminism fool you. Velvet Lips knows how to communicate in ways that are seductive and enchanting. Enjoy the ride… and Cheers to you Sexual Success!

This article was originally published in August 2011 on my Build Your Sex Arsenal Blog. It has been edited for relevance and content. It was reposted at medium.com here

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